“We are embedded in networks,” says researcher Christopher May of the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. One important feature of social networks, he emphasizes, is that things diffuse throughout them: viruses, ideas, and even well-being. Relationships and communities can influence our behaviors and emotions, and can spark a ripple effect that reaches beyond the individual. For example, when someone chooses to quit smoking, those they live with benefit. The decision may even impact their friends’ choices and others in their sphere of influence.
“We are embedded in networks.”
Is the same true for the benefits of meditation? With a Mind & Life PEACE grant, May and research partner Marieke van Vugt aimed to dive into how meditation benefits may ripple through romantic relationships, impacting not just the person meditating but also their partners.
In past research, May found that romantic partners reported less negative emotion in themselves when their partner meditated. This evidence was stronger in romantic partnerships than non-romantic partnerships that were also tested, suggesting that the diffusion of influence is stronger in romantic relationships than pairs of friends. “Intuitively, this makes sense,” says May. When you’re in a romantic relationship, you’re likely interacting more often and are more invested in emotional co-regulation, wanting to build and foster emotional stability for both partners.
But, his results didn’t speak to the mechanisms. To paint a clearer picture, May partnered with van Vugt to try and replicate the findings while using an experimental design aimed to uncover the mechanism behind the effect.
In the Mind & Life funded study, couples were randomly assigned to one of two groups: one group enrolled in a mindfulness-based course and the second group a positive psychology course (the control group). Participants in the positive psychology course learned about well-being, happiness, and meditation but were not asked to engage in contemplative practice. Those in the mindfulness-based course were asked to meditate daily for about twenty minutes. In each couple, one person took the course while their partner did not; seemingly, the non-enrolled partner acted as the study’s control group, but in actuality, they were the focus of the study. This experimental design helped explore how the participating partner’s course affected the non-participating partner.
Throughout the eight-week course, researchers collected information from participants through pre- and post-course surveys and a daily survey. Before the course, participants and their partners answered questions about the expectations of the course, relationship quality, and communication patterns and styles. After the eight weeks, they were asked again about their relationship quality and communication, as well as the outcomes of the course. Daily surveys during the course focused on the extent to which each participant felt both positive and negative emotions; the extent of which they were mindful of their partner; and more general questions about the relationship, particularly the positive and negative qualities.
May says that the first big result of the study is the successful replication of his previous work’s findings. “In couples that were in the mindfulness-based course,” he says, “the partner of the meditator reported decreased negative emotions as a function of their partner’s contemplative practice.” Additionally, meditators’ partners experienced increased non-reactivity over the eight weeks, meaning they were less likely to react to negative thoughts and emotions that did arise.
Both effects—decreased negative emotion and increased non-reactivity in partners—were only seen in the mindfulness-based course condition, and not in couples in the positive psychology course group. In addition, if the meditating partner reported their own increased non-reactivity on a specific day, it was more likely that their partner would report decreased negative emotion the following day. This benefit of meditation can be like “a ripple effect from day to day,” says May.
Non-reactivity—within oneself and in relationship to others—is a measure of pausing before responding to a particular situation or trigger. This pause can help create space for processing without intensifying negative emotions. In relationships, this helps us ‘take a beat’ before having a reaction that could escalate into some kind of conflict. By pausing, a person can remain present and possibly reappraise a situation more healthily—possibly considering alternative perspectives or ways to react. “You’re less likely to slide into your own narrative about what’s going on,” says May, “whether it’s your own internal thoughts or somebody else’s behavior.”
“You’re less likely to slide into your own narrative about what’s going on,
whether it’s your own internal thoughts or somebody else’s behavior.”
Placed in a social network, especially in romantic partnerships, contemplative practices like meditation can positively affect those around you. Well-being isn’t solely reliant on your own practice—your social circles can influence your well-being and vice versa. And it isn’t always in ways as obvious as explicitly talking about the benefits of mindfulness or meditation; just modeling non-reactivity can help someone you know who is suffering, May underscores. His research highlights that we’re all in this together; he says, “well-being can be a social affair.”
This project was awarded as the 2020 Samuel B. Hanser Visionary Grant, given to honor the life of Samuel B. Hanser and support the development of innovative research that makes a significant contribution to our understanding of the effects and mechanisms of contemplative practices on body, mind, and spirit.
