We assume that humans are social beings that necessarily and existentially strive for connection and recognition from others. When social interactions fail to contribute to this basic desire, they constitute one of the greatest sources of human suffering. Being with others requires a negotiation between needing to ensure one’s own existence while also recognizing others’ being/needs. Acknowledging this existential struggle calls for an ethical practice in the midst of interacting. We propose an enactive, normative account of co-negotiated self-maintenance in which individuals own their striving for recognition while at the same time sustain openness to the other’s striving. On this approach we assume that some desires, like wanting recognition, are actually existential needs, and that some craving is existentially necessary. We explore ways in which mindfulness helps raise awareness of intra- and inter-individ
